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YOUR EXPERIENCE CAN PATTERN THE WAY YOU THINK


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BEAUTIFUL CERVIX PROJECT (VERY INFORMATIVE)

Age 25 – Entire Cycle

This 25 year old woman has never given birth and has no history of STIs.  Each photo was taken at approximately 10:00 pm every day starting the first day of her menstrual cycle. For the duration of this project, she used condoms as her birth control method so as not to introduce semenal fluid into the photoshoot.  She did not use tampons or mooncups during her menstruation either.

This cycle is of normal/average length for her, about 33 days.  Her cycle’sfollicular phase (variable number of days preovulation) lasts until about day 20 or 21.  Her fertile phase lasts from days 13 to 21 with ovulation on day 20.  Herluteal (postovulation) phase is 13 days long (12-16 days is the norm and is not variable in a normal cycle).

Screen shot 2013-10-28 at 2.43.32 PM

This is a graph of her basal body temperature for this cycle.  As you can see, after ovulation on about day 20, her temperature began to rise due to the heat-inducing hormone progesterone produced by the corpus luteum.  This temperature shift signifies that ovulation has already occurred.  The coverline would be drawn at 97.4 F.  Check out more information about the Fertility Awareness Method of birth control to learn more about cyclical temperature changes.

You may notice on the right side of some photos, some jagged looking skin, which is the remnants of her hymenal ring.  Her os (opening in the cervix) is round because she has never given birth; the os becomes more of a slit after childbirth.  On the sides of the photos, you can see her vaginal rugae, which are the ridges that make the elastic muscular canal of the vagina able to open/expand dramatically during arousal and childbirth.

She also tracked the depth/movement of her cervix in her vagina.  These gradual shifts are not really distinguishable in the photos, but was a tangible change as the depth she needed to reach a finger inside to touch her own cervix varied slightly each day.  She also noted the firmness of the cervix and openness of the os – again a change she was feeling with her finger.

Her uterus is tipped backward (retroflexed), so you may notice that the cervix is pointing upwards in some photos.  The body of the uterus lies more towards her back than over her bladder as it does in most women.  Much scientific literature states that a retroflexed uterus is an anatomical variation that is present in about 20-30% of the population, and sometimes considered a genetic trait.  Another perspective is that proper alignment of all the pelvic organs can help tonify a woman’s fertility, ease menstrual cramps, and allow the proper flow of blood, lymph, nerve & chi energy.  Attention to posture, Mayan abdominal massage, and addressing underlying inflammation or injuries might help right the uterus into an anteverted position. 



Day One
 
 

Day One

Blood – red , clotty and heavy flow

Cramps – mild

Breasts – de-swelling

Feeling – very sexual and tender




Day 2

Day Two

Blood – Dark red, medium/light flow

Breasts – normal

Basal body temperature  – 97.2 F (and remains between 97 F and 97.4 F until day 20)



Day Three

Day Three

Blood – Brown and watery dark red, low flow




Day Four

Day Four

Brown Spotting with some dark red flecks (note fresh blood at os)




Day Five

Day Five

Light brown discharge; very low flow

Tender, heart-achey

Tired




Day Six

Day Six

Very light brown discharge

Sticky cervical fluid when touched between fingers




day Seven

Day Seven

Cervix in low closed position

Cervical fluid sticky




Day Eight

Day Eight

Cervix low and closed/firm

Cervical fluid white and sticky




Day Nine

Day Nine

Cervix low and closed

Dry sensation




day Ten

Day Ten

Cervix low and closed

Notice blood spot near os and brown clot near cervix (right).  This is not mid-cycle spotting as she is not ovulating yet. This woman has been diagnosed with an endometrial polyp that occasionally causes bleeding mid-cycle, usually unrelated to intercourse.





Day Eleven

Cervical fluid is creamy




day-12

Day Twelve

Cervical fluid white and wet, milky

Feeling particularly sexual




day-131

Day Thirteen

Copious watery cervical fluid

Cervix softening and moving upwards




day-14

Day Fourteen

White/clear watery cervical fluid, dripping




cervie-day-15-yes

Day Fifteen

Cervical fluid changed to more eggwhite texture

Cervix is soft, open and high




day-16

Day Sixteen

Cervical fluid alternately wet and eggwhite consistency

Cervix soft and high




day-17day-17stretch21

Day Seventeen

Cervical fluid is very gelatainous (here seen covering os) and streaked with whitish yellow

Sensitive, sensual breasts (not painfully tender)

Stringy Fluid when stretched between fingers (above)




day-18

Day Eighteen

Eggwhite fluid




day-19
day-19

Day Nineteen

More white-tinged eggwhite fluid

Very stretchy and strong Fluid (above)




day-20



Day Twenty

Mild back pain and cramp on left side (mittelschmerz)

Ovulation suspected!

Feeling very sexual

Cervical Fluid gelatinous and egg-white (right)

Os very open




day-21

Day Twenty One

Drier/chunkier cervical fluid – drying up pattern 

Nipples very tender and painful

Basal Body temperature beginning to rise, today 97.7  F, confirming ovulaiton




day-22

Day Twenty-Two

Tender nipples

Cervical position is middle





day-23

Day Twenty-Three

Very tender nipples

Dry feeling





day-24

Day Twenty-Four

Very tender nipples

Dry feeling

Cervix feels hard and high again




day-25

Day Twenty-Five

Headache and tired

Dry/tacky




day-26

Day Twenty-Six

Breasts swelling

Tacky cervical fluid

Basal Body temperature now very noticeably higher than preovulation by about 1 degree Farenheit.  It is now 98.1 F and ranges from 98.1 F to 98.6 F for the rest of this of cycle



day-27

Day Twenty-Seven

Tender nipples, swollen breasts

Tacky cervical fluid




day-28w

Day Twenty-Eight

Dry feeling




day-29w

Day Twenty-Nine

Dry feeling




day-30w

Day Thirty

Dry feeling

Breasts feel heavy




day-31

Day Thirty-One

Feeling bloated

Dry fluid (note fresh blood at os, sign of impending menses)

Feeling emotionally tender




day-32wv1

Day Thirty-Two

Very light brown spotting

Cervix low and open

Feeling tired




day-33wv1

Day Thirty-Three

Pink spotting

Lower back ache

Menses begins tomorrow upon waking, 13 days after ovulation (luteal phase)

 

Feel free to comment below.  Please know that we ‘censor’ the comments, so you needn’t bother saying something mean, derogatory, pornographic, or sexist as posting such comments does not further the vision of this project or the health of the world.

Source: Beautiful Cervix project site.


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Interesting Fashion At Ghana Meets Naija

 

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Last Saturday’s much publicized ‘Ghana Meets Naija’, saw great performances, drama and interesting diverse sense of fashion. 


Some patrons of the event especially the ladies brought some interesting and colorful fashion on the night.

Keep reading for more pictures from what happened on stage and celebrities who attended the event. 

For now checkout some interesting photos from the event:

 
 
 
Fashion At Ghana Meets Naija 

 
Fashion At Ghana Meets Naija 

 
Fashion At Ghana Meets Naija 

 
Huhudious faces with kunsum bodies. Eeii asem paa ni boi Ghana maa bi ho nyef3 koraa tweaaakai

 
This madness can only stay in Ghana. Well educated people don’t dress like this.

 
Fashion At Ghana Meets Naija 

 
And what’s with all these cheap clothes? Was the show free or they had to pay for it? Gosh GH girls can do better, the dressing is too cheap, tarty and gross

 
well u guys ve forgotten the only value for Ghanaian ladies is to sell their self. We guys are making money, they are just given us pleasure in bed.

 
i dont think they went for da show… they must hv been there to work… Asshhaawoo

 
i dont think they went for da show… they must hv been there to work… Asshhaawoo

 
Now the night ladies have taken over our shows. It’s very obvious these ladies are night workers looking for potential clients.

 
Fashion At Ghana Meets Naija 

 
Fashion At Ghana Meets Naija 

 
Now the night ladies have taken over our shows. It’s very obvious these ladies are night workers looking for potential clients.

 
Fashion At Ghana Meets Naija 

 
Fashion At Ghana Meets Naija 

 
Fashion At Ghana Meets Naija 

 
Fashion At Ghana Meets Naija 

 
Fashion At Ghana Meets Naija 

 
Fashion At Ghana Meets Naija 

Source: Eugene Osafo-Nkansah/Peacefmonline.com and Pictures by Edward K. Boateng

 

 

 
 
 
 

 


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APPLICATION FORM TO MARRY MY SISTERS AND DAUGHTERS. ?

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FILL THE FORM IN OWN HAND WRITING AND IN BLOCK LETTERS.

I, _________ , hereby apply to marry your daughter/sister Sir.

I am _____ years old.

Please answer the following questions honestly.

1. Do you go to church? Yes/No
2. Do you have a masters or PhD? Yes/No.
3. Are you related to any rich person in the city?Yes/No.
4. Are you earning 7 figures salary? Yes/No.
5. Do you have a car? Yes/No.

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If your answer to any of the above questions was NO, do not continue. Leave my house and don’t look back. If all your answers were YES, then continue.

1. In 50 words or more, describe the disadvantages of cheating in marriage.
_______________ _____ _______________ _____

2. With the aid of a diagram, explain how you can give respect to your father in-law or mother in-law.

3. Suppose your wife says, “honey, I need money for my hair-style at the saloon”, what would you answer?
_______________ _____ _______________ _____

4. Explain any TEN causes of divorce.
_______________ _____ _______________ _____

5. What does the term ‘good husband’ mean to you?
_______________ _____ ____________ ___ _____

6. Do you have both dad and mum?
Yes/No.
If No, explain why?
7. Were your parents
legally married? YesNo. If YES, for how long?

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NB:If the time of their marriage is less than your age, explain why you were born out of

wedlock.

8. Explain the meaning of ”COME HOME EARLY” as used by women.
(100 words)

9. Give any THREE reasons that can cause a man to sleep outside his house.

10. In case of divorce, who do you think is the owner of the kids between father and mother?

Answer the following by Yes or No.

1. Do you drink alcohol? Yes/No.
2. Do you smoke? Yes/No.
3. Are you short-tempered? Yes/No.

LAST PART, BUT EQUALLY IMPORTANT.

1. When can you be free for interviews?_________

2. When can be the best time to interview your dad? _______________

3. When can I interview your mum?
_______________ _____

4. When can I interview your church pastor.

5. Please stick your passport size photo
below, which will be put in newspaper to check if you have other girlfriends or no issues with the police.

Sign here: ___________
Sign again: __________

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Thank you for showing interest in my sister/
daughter.

Your application will be processed in 1year and six months time.

You will be acknowledged only if you emerge successful.

As you are waiting, please don’t call me, or visit me, or contact my daughter/sister, you will be disqualified.

Leave your details in case I need to ask you more questions.

Postal Address: _______________ _______ _
______________ _______ _

Email: _______________
Phone: _______________ _
Facebook:______________
Whatsapp:____________
Instagram:___________
LinkedIn:___________ __
BBM Pin:___________ __

Thank you


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Office Romance: Is It Ever OK?

Dating at work is forbidden in most companies and policies against this are clearly stated in contract letters of employees. Employers do this because “workplace romance presents a threat to organizational effectiveness through their negative effects on participants and coworkers…” says the Journal of Management, May-June, 1998 edition which summarized a research on office romance.

Even if employers forbid such relationships in the work environment, the reality is that the behaviour is rife. And there are expamples of office romance which have ended in fruitful marriages.   

Office romance may spring out of coercion, which is a major reason why it is forbidden. However, employees who date often do so of their own free will. 

The Pros And Cons  

It may sound dreamy, but in reality office romances can prove to be a challenge. 

 

The fact that employees spend the better part of their days together in the office means the likelihood that someone will develop an attraction to a colleague is very high. Single people abound in the workplace, therefore it is only natural for employees to seek their potential partners there – especially when there is little time and opportunity to meet new people due to work constraints.  Nevertheless, forming such a relationship is in itself a recipe for disaster.

Workplace romance not only affects the two people involved but their colleagues, their department and even the organisation. When the romance exists between a superior and subordinate in the same line of work, it is very likely for other junior employees to view their colleague as favored – this breeds low morale and animosity. Subordinates stand a greater chance of being on the losing end when the relationship goes bad – breakup is more likely to equal dismissal. Here you may not just lose your source of livelihood but also you hurt your personal brand and opportunities for career advancement, especially when you are a woman.

If the relationship is between two employees of equal status, the situation isn’t easy, either.  Flirting abounds in the workplace, and if the relationship is being kept secret, jealousy may set in. Besides, being in the same environment all the time may cause friction since everybody needs some alone time to pursue other interests; a lack thereof may cause the relationship to self-destruct.  Moreover, this kind of relationship interferes with a person’s ability to perform on the job – issues of conflict of interest may arise.  These potential outcomes of a romance in the office may make life awkward for the parties involved. 

What can you do?

It is quite impossible to do away with the drama that comes with dating a co-worker or a boss. If you really want to avoid any of the awkward circumstances mentioned above, the best policy is to avoid getting romantically involved with anyone in the office. 

If you can’t or are already caught in an office love web, consider changing jobs or ask HR to move you to another department.

 


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Are We Naturally Selfish?

For those who have a good heart, going the extra mile, each day, in every activity, comes naturally. 

We help too much, give too much, trust too much and love too much. Our quest to see others happy, make life a bit more comfortable for them and bring some sort of positive change in the lives of those we love and care about, it makes us forget that we too need care and attention.

All my life, I have given too much of me to my family, friends, loved ones and to even strangers. I’ve been the best relative, the best friend and even the best lover, yet in most of these cases, I have ended up as the biggest loser.

Yes! When you have a good heart:

You help too much

You give too much

You trust too much

You love too much

And it always seems like you hurt the most.

I don’t know the author of the above quote but those few words really sum up my entire life’s story.

Like pollutants spreading through the atmosphere, selfishness spreads through society and affects us all. 

Society itself has taught us to put ourselves first in whatever endeavour. We are made to believe in the Darwinian theory of “the survival of the fittest”. Therefore, those who have the audacity to step on toes and not look back, view themselves as those with the ability to survive. 

A recent experience of a man who wants to call it quits with his girlfriend after dating for nine-years made me wonder if we are naturally selfish. 

“I have been with my girlfriend for nine and a half years. We have been through so much together and the plan was to get married before this year ends. But something happened to me,” he says.

“I met someone else and she made me feel things I didn’t know I was capable of feeling. I am madly, and deeply in love with this woman who I met only in November last year and I have no doubt she’s my soul mate and the person I’m supposed to spend the rest of my life with.

“The only problem is the lady who’s given me her all for over nine years. I feel guilty leaving her, but should I be with a woman just out of guilt?” he asks, adding: “After nine years, there’s nothing new here, nothing exciting anymore.”

“We’ve lived together, we’ve had a kid, we’ve laughed, we’ve cried, we’ve fought, we’ve made money, lost money, the next step was marriage but then I met this woman and she literally stole my heart,” he continued.

“I know my girlfriend’s friends will laugh at her if I leave her and marry someone else as they have been asking her for years why she hasn’t been able to get me to put a ring on her finger, but should (I) stay with her out of pity when my heart is somewhere else? I’m lost,” he confessed.

Actually, my first reaction to this story was…How can anybody have such a wicked mindset? Reading the comments which followed, I realised that I am not the only one who is disgusted by this guy’s selfishness.  

Few of the comments read:

“What are you saying man? If you leave her you will forever regret it your entire life. What has come over you? Is it because of the new girl you have just met some months back and you want to sacrifice 9 and half years of love and your kid to another woman?”

“Ur rili lost my dear, its obvious u have made up ur mind to leave her but reason it d oda way. if u were d lady how will u feel ?”

“I can’t seem to find the right words to describe wicked men like u. But well, I don’t blame u, I blame the foolish woman who dedicated her life to u out of trust and even gave u a child without being married to her. I hope Naija girls will learn from this. No man is worth giving up your virtues/values when he’s nt married to u.”

I pity this woman who gave nine-years of her life to this man. She gave almost a decade of her life loving, trusting and giving too much of herself to someone who doesn’t deserve any of her sacrifices. She’s not alone however. I’m sure you can relate to similar experiences either in your life or in the lives of people you are connected to in some ways.

Whatever it is, this guy has thought thoroughly through the situation and as certain as I absolutely can be, he knows what is right. His admission of guilt tells it all. But he has resolved to chase the dream that favours himself alone. Yes, that is what gratifies his spirit; no one else matters more. For him, it’s now or never. This is the moment and the opportunity for him to rejuvenate his own life. Just as society has taught us that only the fittest survive, he is determined to find what he thinks is his happiness even if pursuing this course brings untold pain to the other people, his own child included.

Selfish people are described as: “People who are weak and haunted by the fear to lose control”. Therefore, they put their goals, priorities, and needs first before everyone else, even those who are really in need of them. They have little or no empathy for others and will sacrifice anybody or thing just for their own good.

What makes people selfish?

As humans, we all have innate characteristics of both good and bad. However, what we choose to be is what reflects our person to the wider society. The fact that we have an inherent instinct of savagery does not permit us to throw rationality to the dogs.

According to Psychoanalyst Sigmund Freud, all humans have a selfish part. We have the part of the brain called the ID, which always makes us put ourselves first, saying: “I want it”. To strike some sort of a balance, we also have the moral part of the brain, the SUPEREGO, which keeps us in check. Therefore, when the ID says: “I want it”, the SUPEREGO part counteracts that with “I can’t have it”. And we also have the EGO, which is the realistic part of the brain which balances the ID and the SUPEREGO. The EGO is what tells us: “I can have some of it.” 

This means that like all animals, we humans have a survival instinct that is hard to overcome. That notwithstanding, we can also be markedly altruistic. Therefore, while we have a natural inclination to protect our own interests first, we also have the ability to act unselfishly, especially for the benefit of others.

If someone acts selfishly, it is because they have chosen to be like that. 

Otherwise why can’t I also stop being altruistic when being so makes me hurt so much?  I guess it’s a choice we all make. To be either less self-interested so we can be more useful to those who really need us, or put our own interests first to benefit ourselves only.

I may have been good to others because I expect them to do unto me as I have done unto them. Maybe that aspect of human nature that tells us that “we want it” is what has influenced me to love so strongly – since I really want to be loved by those to whom I show love. 

Maybe, if I did good deeds to people without expecting anything in return, I will hurt less and that will be a true unselfish gesture. 

No matter how many times you seem to get the short end of the stick, I guess you just have to believe that sooner or later, you’ll find someone who cares about what you need as much as you care about what they need.

Nice piece by my sister 


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Great Boyfriend, Bad Husband

Why is he different now?  What happened to him?  My husband was so cool when we were courting. He said all the things I wanted to hear, did everything I wanted and more.

Was he under a spell, or was he trying hard to impress me? Adjoa wonders. Her husband Cecil has changed so much that she sometimes feels like he isn’t the man she married.

It is in connection with this that people from other parts of the world cohabitate to know if their partner is suitable as a husband or wife. While Africans frowns on cohabitation (most believe that a man and a woman should only live together when they are married), people can still pretend while living together, too, trust me. As soon as they graduate from this practice and tie the knot with the saying of ‘I do,’ they start to get a new look at this person they’re supposed to ‘love and cherish till death do they part.’ So who really is the ideal man or woman?

Often I’ve seen a guy or a girl be with someone for a very long time, they break-up and one of them marries another after a short period of dating (courting). I ask myself what he or she was ‘looking out for’ in the other person for so long and didn’t find, but quickly found it in another in half the period of time. I’ve come to believe one thing…a good boyfriend/girlfriend does not necessarily mean he/she will be a good husband/wife.

When you meet someone with whom you want to spend the rest of your life, you don’t only look at what they are or what they’re doing today, but how their way of life is likely to turn out in the future. That’s what draws the line between the good boyfriend/girlfriend and the good husband/wife. Usually we don’t concern ourselves about what potentially good husbands/wives do in the future but what they’re doing now. Sometimes (or all of the time) tomorrow does not take care of itself, you know; we have to take care of it.

It’s not to say that all girlfriends/boyfriends cannot be good wives/husbands or that we should be looking for potential husbands/wives in people we want to have a relationship with, but I believe that when we get to a certain age (if you intend to marry), you should be on the lookout for one who also wants the same thing as you. If it doesn’t work out that way or get to the stage you wanted it to, at least you leave with something – a moral lesson!

If the man/woman you intend to marry can provide you with all the fun you need for today but is not so concerned about the future, then something is very wrong.  I’m not saying that we worry so much about the future and cease living ‘now,’ but after some year(s) after saying your ‘I do,’ children will start rearing their heads, so investing in the future is crucial because that is where you live the rest of your lives. Fun is good, possessing the latest bag and shoe is also good, but you can’t live life like there’s no tomorrow.

As ladies, we sometimes get carried away by what ‘good’ boyfriends do, and a good boyfriend in a woman’s book is one who digs deep into his pocket and a good girlfriend in some men’s book is one who can ‘wind the waist’ to the highest heavens in bed.  But are there attributes we can safely say are good marriage traits to have? Every man/woman can be a good boyfriend/girlfriend with minimal effort by faking and more faking. A good husband/wife needs to be discerning, a good planner, one who is selfless, dedicated and can sustain the home.  A faker can definitely not do that!

But as human as we are, we can’t fake all the time. So to both parties, try and be vigilant and don’t overlook certain flaws on the part of your partner, or take my word for it, you will find yourself staring them in the face in the future. As you love with your heart, use your head ‘small.’

I think we should have a principle that ‘we’ll not start what we cannot sustain in a relationship.’  Then we’ll have less of ‘he/she changed’ because change doesn’t happen overnight.  And mind you, familiar and learned habits are more comfortable than change when moving from relationship into a marriage. Marriage is a serious institution, and therefore it has become vital that you be honest with yourself and your partner.  Establish your relationship on a foundation of truth, and down the road you won’t find yourself questioning why your partner has changed. Accept each other for who you really are or you’ll surely be disappointed later. 


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One To The Altar, 100 To The Bed: New Form Of Polygamy In Ghana?

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During one of my early morning internet surfing sessions, I chanced on a story in The Telegraph titled“Most children will be born out of wedlock by 2016.” In consideration of this, a colleague in the office remarked to me, “Yeah!!! If polygamy were legal in Ghana, most of these children won’t be born out of wedlock…” 

Interesting! Though this statement may be true in its own sense, my common observation is that most men, just like me, would prefer to take just one woman to the altar and have concubines outside — something which is quite trendy in contemporary Ghana. 

Bearing some semblance to polygamy of the traditional past, most men, for reasons known only to them, would prefer to legally marry one woman and then date several others outside the marriage.

If you are a man reading this article, I guess you know exactly what I am talking about. Complicated as this may seem, the frequently asked questions are: What would be the possible motivation for such a lifestyle?  And, are women secure in this whole charade? 

Customary Marriage and Polygamy

Historically, customary marriages are the oldest form of marriage known to Ghanaians. In most of these marriages, it was common to see men marry a lot of women, in what is termed polygamy.

I have the experience of being part of a polygamous family. From a family of thirty two and surrounded by many other polygamous families, the practice is a norm in several communities in Ghana. The practice, however, is being diminished in modern Ghana, with very few existing cases among the Muslim communities, mostly still being found in the northern part of the country. 

Until late 1985, there was less pressure on families to register their customary marriages in Ghana. This made it possible for polygamy to flourish. People had the choice to register their marriages under the then Customary Law. But given a choice, most people wouldn’t, and in fact they didn’t. And even if they did, merely registering a customary marriage did not rule out possibilities of taking on more women. Men had concubines anyway, and it was common to see a man literally have a ‘hundred wives.’ It was indeed a bragging right to have many women as wives.

Obviously, the bad part of it for most women was that their level of security in the relationship was almost non-existent, as men had the liberty to marry more women as and when they pleased. 

But of course, the wives and children were at the bad end of this whole marriage pleasure. The matrilineality and extendedization of the traditional family setting made mothers and children suffer after the death of the man. Once divided among them, the many children and wives  had little to support them from the man’s estate.

Register Your Marriage; Go For The Hundreds. But…

With government recognizing the trauma and suffering children and wives were going through after the death of a father, the Intestate Succession Law (PNDC LAW 111) was passed in 1985 to ensure the protection of these vulnerable people. 

Along with Marriage by Ordinance, neither parent can marry another if the marriage is registered under this law.  To do so is considered bigamy. 

But you know what? Men still have the option of marrying more even if the marriage is registered under the Customary Law and Marriage by Ordinance.

How? First, most men have the liberty to register their marriage under the Customary Law and still marry a lot more women. Second, which is the even more common case, men can decide to register their marriage under both laws and still flirt around. Modern polygamy, isn’t it? 

The question is, is it just a thing of men to put a ring on one finger and then go out for more women, or there is more to it than meets the eye?

‘Modern polygamy’- The woman factor?

It is a well-known fact that men, including myself, are natural womanizers. Yes, we cheat, women know and they have come to understand it. A woman once told me that her key principle is, You can cheat, but don’t be caught. Seriously?

While it is normal for most women to set a lot of principles and rules around their marriage, it is not certain things will work their way. Men are often the final determiners.

Whatever the case, most men lay the cause of their modern polygamous tendencies on the doorsteps of women.  The inability of women to meet certain requirements of womanhood, principally the ability to bear children, is often cited as the cause of their infidelity, though sometimes the associated reasons are quite flimsy. Unsubstantial as some of the excuses may be, issues like barrenness are not taken lightly by many. Such a situation, depending on its peculiarity, may require a second wife, but not more. But some men take advantage of the situation to have more and more.

You see, men have the natural tendency of wanting more, and more in terms of more women. Even if none of these problems exists in their marriages, many will still go out for concubines. 

It is perfectly understandable that women don’t understand why we men do that because most of the time we don’t understand ourselves. 

Are women secure in this charade?

Even when situations are perfect, women may still be insecure. They just exhibit natural insecurity. But you see, to some extent men are responsible for the greater insecurity of women. This issue of ‘modern polygamy’ makes their situation even more serious. 

But of course, this will not go without any defenses mechanisms by women. Even so, if the marriage goes down the drain, it may likely affect them and their children.

In this regard, most women will quickly force their husbands to register their marriage under the Ordinance Law. Women who hitherto married under the Customary Law are also forcing their husbands to register the marriage under Ordinance. How smart! But does this guarantee total security? 

Though it might not be completely secure, most women still find solace in that. Even among Muslims where polygamous and customary marriage is common, some women are forcing their husbands to register their marriage. My big brother, for instance, had to register his marriage under the Ordinance law right after the Customary.

Whatever the length these women go to, men will still cheat if they want to. Marriage registration does not really put any major limitation on their quest to go woman hunting. 

Accept the situation or opt out!

Most women have come to accept this situation. In fact, they are just helpless objects when it comes to men and their sexual needs. 

More poignant, however, is the quest for women to keep their marriage. Even if the man impregnates another woman outside the marriage, they may yet accept it despite the initial noise they will make. This is because the onus lies on them to either accept it or opt out of the marriage.

Some women are ‘considerate’ enough to even ask the other woman, who is perhaps pregnant, to stay with them. While dissecting this issue in the office, a colleague pointed out that the desperation of most women is largely responsible for this growing trend of men seeking extra partners outside marriage. Though I quite agree with him, this situation is more embedded in culture and religion than just what the woman stands for. So for most women, they just may want to be walked to the altar. The hundreds that go to bed with their husbands may not really matter to them. 

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