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YOUR EXPERIENCE CAN PATTERN THE WAY YOU THINK


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3 Things You Should Know Before Getting Married

3 Things You Should Know Before Getting Married

I can feel the veins in my neck bulging.

The veins in my neck never bulge. I’m the guy who internalizes everything — no matter how much the circumstance warrants a reaction (for better or worse).

The more she explains how my negligence in our relationship makes her feel, the more I want to jump in my truck and spend the weekend alone on the open road — neglecting our relationship.

Instead, we resort to our increasingly popular nightcap. I walk out, slamming the door behind me for dramatic effect. She crawls under the covers, in tears — but not before setting up her wall of pillows down the middle of the bed, just to remind me, when I do come to sleep, that things are not okay.

We were 18 months in and though our first year was bliss, pillow walls were now becoming our norm.

We weren’t supposed to be the ones in a perpetual fight.

We were the couple who highlighted and dog-eared our marriage books. My wife was still my dream. Yet, something was missing. We both felt it. And we both wondered why.

As we explored the growing deficiency, we kept coming back to a handful of misconceptions we brought into our marriage. Our growing frustrations. Our screaming matches that were becoming ritualistic. Our doubts. They all could be traced to our misguided ideas about marriage and their inability to support the very unnatural art of loving another person.

Needless to say, a little foresight could have saved us a couple of hard nights early on in marriage. So in lieu of slammed doors and pillow walls, here are three things everyone needs to know before they marry.

 

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1. HAPPILY EVER AFTER ISN’T THE POINT.
As soon as we’re able to understand bedtime stories, Cinderella and her friends tell us love is about happiness. Hollywood eventually takes up Cinderella’s campaign, inundating us with the idea that marriage — and sex — is our gateway into happily ever after.

 

But what if I told you happily ever after isn’t the point?

It doesn’t take long into matrimony for most of us to realize Disney and Hollywood were full of it. At that point, our frustration with Cinderella is only rivaled by the disillusionment we feel in our marriages.

Our modern obsession with being happy often makes it far more natural for us to love happiness more than we ever love another human. And though being happy is a very real by-product of a healthy relationship, the value we put on personal happiness is so inflated, its causing us to miss one of the more beautiful purposes of marriage. The ancient Hebrew culture, on the other hand, didn’t seem to miss this purpose. The language even highlights and unpacks this ideal for us.

In Hebrew, the word used for marriage actually means “Fire.” And not-so-coincidentally, fire is also the element used throughout ancient Hebrew culture to represent personal reformation. In this light, marriage (and its necessary friction) is seen less as a doorway to happily ever after and more as a tool in divine hands to help us become increasingly beautiful — increasingly our best and brightest selves.

 

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2. GOOD CONSUMERS MAKE BAD LOVERS.
I couldn’t wait to get married. Of course, I loved my wife and couldn’t see my future with anyone else. Yet I was mostly looking forward to the perpetual slumber party, saying goodbye to the awkwardness of singlehood, and (obviously) the endless, mind-blowing sex.

 

And with that, I became a perfect illustration of another misguided modern mentality towards marriage.

Many of our ideas of love lead us to, consciously or subconsciously, begin and end the conversation with what marriage can do for us. Sadly, this me-centricity has a way of neutering the beauty of marriage — taking a relationship designed for giving and making it all about getting.

Yet again, the Hebrew language seems to bring a certain light to our modern ideas. The Hebrew word for love — ahava — has little to do with what one feels or receives. To the contrary — ahava — is actually a verb that means “I give.” As it turns out, love is not the fleeting butterflies we get when looking into the eyes of our significant other. It’s not something we fall into when dating. It’s far simpler — and far wilder — than all of that. It’s the everyday choices we make — big or small — to give to our spouse.

  • It’s taking out the trash.
  • It’s actively choosing to give him space when he is stressed.
  • It’s a text message, mid-afternoon, to tell her you can’t stop thinking about her.
  • It’s the choice to not react to something he said, but asking what he meant and how it makes him feel, instead.
  • It’s the time you’re late for a meeting, but run back inside to tell your wife — who you know adores being told — how much she means to you that day.
  • It’s the painful routine of taking the 3:00 a.m. newborn feeding shift so your wife can finally have three hours of uninterrupted sleep.

Love is not the fairy-tale beginnings as much as it is the small, mundane — but generous — things we do for each other every day. And as we begin to orient ourselves to this brand of love that requires us to show up continually, we’re sure to discover the beautiful paradox that it is.

 

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3. LOVE IS A JOURNEY — NOT A FREE FALL.

 

“We fell in love and got married.”

This was certainly my story. After a few stomach butterflies and a handful of DTRs (Define the Relationship), I thought my wife and I had arrived at the much-sought-after phenomenon of being in love. It was no wonder I expected all the benefits of love on Day One of our marriage.

You know the benefits I’m talking about. The trusted friendship. The happy partnership. The ongoing romance.

But anyone who has experienced marriage knows that though these benefits are very real perks of love, they don’t come for free.

  • Trust requires trust-building circumstances over time.
  • True companionship comes from years of conversation.
  • And romance? Well, the kind of romance that doesn’t fade only comes from being intentional over the long haul.

Many of us get married and immediately expect to reap the rewards of love and quickly learn that true love isn’t something we fall into. This state of “Love” (and all of its benefits) is developed over years of learning to relate to one another — it’s a journey.

A friend of mine recently attended a small gathering after a frustrating fight with his wife. As they went around the circle introducing themselves, he announced they had been married five years. A woman, almost cutting them off, blurted out, “five years? Oh, you guys are only kindergarteners.”

Suddenly, my friends frustrations with his marriage disappeared. As he thought about the woman’s simple but profound comment, he realized: everybody expects kindergarteners to occasionally act childish, be selfish, and throw tantrums. Perhaps he should cut himself and his wife some slack in his marriage.

We can’t expect to microwave love, and can’t assume our spouse or our marriage will offer all the benefits of love on Day One.

Marriage, with its everyday equation of radical proximity to another human is never going to fit nicely into our neat boxes of formulas and principled ideals. I get it. And, regardless of what we know before we get married or not, it is always going to have a way of stretching us — many times to the brink of wanting to give up. But perhaps with every misguided idea about marriage we replace with a more timeless one, the more natural the very unnatural art of loving another person becomes.


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14 Reasons You Should Start Eating Cucumber

 

Cucumber Cucumbers are number four most cultivated vegetable in the world and known to be one of the best foods for your overall health, often referred to as a super food. Pick a handful of firm, dark green cucumbers and drop them into your shopping cart. Congratulations! You have just bought yourself stuff full of good health.

Cucumber rehydrates body

If you are too busy to drink enough water, eat the cool cucumber, which is 90 percent water. It will cheerfully compensate your water lost.

Cucumber fights heat inside and out

Eating cucumber will get your body relief from heartburn. Apply cucumber on your skin and you will get relief from sunburn.

Cucumber eliminates toxins

All that water in cucumber acts as a virtual broom, sweeping waste products out of your body. With regular eating, cucumber is known to dissolve kidney stones.

Cucumber replenishes daily vitamins

Cucumbers have most of the vitamins the body needs in a single day. A B and C, which boost your immune system keep you radiant and give you energy. Make it more powerful by juicing cucumber with spinach and carrot. Don’t forget to leave the skin on because it contains a good amount of vitamin C, about 12 percent of the daily recommended allowance.

Cucumber Cucumber supplies skin friendly minerals

Cucumber is high in potassium, magnesium and silicon. That is why spas abound cucumber based treatments.

Cucumber aids in digestion and weight loss

Due to its high water and low calorie content, cucumber is an ideal source for people who are looking for weight loss. Use cucumbers in your soups and salads. If it is not your favorite snack you can crunchy cucumber sticks with creamy low fat yogurt dip. Chewing cucumber gives your jaws a good workout and the fiber in it is great for digestion. Daily consumption of cucumbers can be regarded as an aid for chronic constipation.

Cucumber revives the eyes

Placing a chilled slice of cucumber over puffy eyes is a clichéd beauty visual but it really can help reduce under-eye bags and puffiness due to its anti inflammatory properties.

Cucumber fights cancers

Cucumber is known to contain secoisolariciresinol, lariciresinol and pinoresinol. The three lignans have a strong connection with reduced risk of several cancer types, including ovarian, breast, prostate and uterine cancer.

Cucumber cures diabetes, reduces cholesterol and controls blood pressure

Cucumber juice contains a hormone which is needed by the cells of the pancreas for producing insulin which is widely spread to be beneficial to diabetic patients. Researchers have found that a compound called sterols in cucumbers can help decrease levels of cholesterol. Cucumbers contain a lot of fiber, potassium and magnesium. These nutrients work effectively for regulating blood pressure. That is why cucumber is good for treating both high blood pressure and low blood pressure.

Cucumber in Water Cucumber refreshes the mouth

Cucumber juice heals and refreshes diseased gums. Get a slice of cucumber and press it to the roof of your mouth with your tongue for a half minute, the phytochemcials will kill the bacteria in your mouth responsible for causing unpleasant breath.

Cucumber smoothes hair and nails

The wonder mineral Silica in cucumber makes your hair and nails shinier and stronger. The sulfur and silica in cucumbers help to stimulate your hair growth.

Cucumber promotes joint health, relieves arthritis and gout pain

As cucumber is an excellent source of silica it promotes joint health by strengthening the connective tissues. When mixed with carrot juice, cucumber can relieve gout and arthritis pain by lowering levels of the uric acid.

Cucumber cures hangover

To avoid a morning headache or hangover you can eat a few cucumber slices before going to sleep. Cucumbers contain enough B vitamins, sugar and electrolytes to replenish many essential nutrients and reducing the severity of both hangover and headache.

Cucumber keeps kidneys in shape

Cucumber lowers uric acid levels in your body and though keeping the kidneys healthy.

 


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25 Funny Photos of People Wearing Really Stupid Outfits

 

At this point pants really arent worth the effort

 

 

Baby is VERY happy to be here

 

Graduated and Ready to be Hired

 

Ho Ho Oh No…

 

I think there’s a penis – I mean rip in your leggings

 

A Halloween that poor child will never forget

 

I’d Like to Know What Game She’s Playing

 

It’s Important to Always Wear Head Protection

 

Keep your damn clam on a leash ladies

 

No I Will Not Pick You Up

 

Nobody move…I dropped a contact

 

Not sure if racist against self

 

Oh Lemmy

 

Oh San Francisco

 

Pink Sperm Hats Are All The Rage

 

Someone really needed a Big Mac

 

Sometimes men want to be taller and uncomfortable too

 

Taking Poodle Skirt To A Whole New Level

 

                                                                    The Dress That Keeps You Dry Everafter

 

                                                                 The leopard and its leopard child in their natural habitat

 

                                                           The newest way to sag your jeans

 

                                                                        Those eyes follow me no matter where I go…

 

                                                                            Time for some new pants buddy

 

                                                                                    Whats thong with this picture

 

                                                        Umm maam there’s something wrong with your shirt…


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Funny Women Quotes and Sayings

A woman has only 2 problems. 1. Nothing to wear. 2. No room for all the clothes.

 

Of course women don’t look as busy as men. We do it right the first time!!!

When a women says “What?”, it’s not because she didn’t hear you. She’s giving you a chance to change what you said. 

You tell a man something, it goes in one ear and out the other. Tell a woman something, it goes in both ears and comes out through the mouth..

A smart statement written outside a women’s shoe shop: 75% Discount if you select in 5 minutes. 🙂

Why are girls?

 

Women are a strange breed. They paint their lips; Show off their inner-wear; Flaunt their bodies; Wear butt-hugging jeans; And then they expect men to notice their emotions!

A jealous woman does better research than the FBI.

There is no doubt that all women are crazy. It’s just a matter of degree.

Only two things can change a woman’s mind: 1. I love you. 2. 50 percent discount.

A man is always ready to go, it’s a women that says whether yes or no!

Women are like police, they can have all the evidence in the world but they still want a confession.

Someday they’re going to call me “M’am” without adding “You’re making a scene”.

Women fake orgasms and men fake finances.

 

If women ran the world we wouldn’t have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days.

Women are suitable to be journalists, they never spend a minute quiet.

When a woman has nothing left to argue, she will either ignore you, cry or remember that thing until she takes revenge on that.

If for some reason I doubt that I’m wrong, all I need to do is ask a woman for verification

I’m a woman.. I’m smart. I never loose an argument. I can cook. I like to read fashion magazines. I love to be right. Men don’t understand us. We must have secret powers, because I don’t understand us, either.

Men are nasty to each other and don’t mean it, Women are nice to each other and don’t mean it!

The male body has seven trillion nerves and only a woman knows “How to get on every single one of them?”

“Women” – they have a way of complicating things.

 

 

 

 


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WEDDING” IS NOT MARRIAGE AND MARRIAGE IS NOT “WEDDING”.

WEDDING” IS NOT MARRIAGE AND MARRIAGE IS NOT “WEDDING”.

LADIES, STOP CHASING YOUR MEN FOR WEDDINGS..YOU ARE 30-45 YEARS NOW STILL WAITING FOR A WEDDING?……. THAT IS WHY SOME OF YOU ARE STILL UNMARRIED–THE GUYS CANT AFFORD WEDDINGS TODAY! FOR CRYING OUT LOUD, HOW MUCH IS HIS SALARY????God is watching U ooo what Kind Of pressure Is that …….tweeeaaa Adam And Eve self No do wedding Woooow see for ur self during the blood of the man how could you even walk in this?

Indian
Beautiful
Unique
Ideas
Bridesmaids
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 


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10 men women should avoid at any cost

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Here is a list of types of men that women should avoid at any cost. Read on…

Are you looking out for a new relationship or want to just date men? You might come across somebody and hit it off nicely for a year or so, and then you begin to notice things that could make you part ways. To avoid the pain you undergo when things go wrong, here’s a list of ten types of men you should run miles away from.

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The rebound shot
A man, who is fresh out of a relationship, is still lurking in the transition. At this point of time, he can be quite weak and might lean on the nearest support he can find. But that doesn’t mean that he’s really fallen for you. Although for some people it has worked, but mostly in the long run, there can be no assurance of this one coming to term.

No money, honey
Understood you are not a materialistic girl, you are independent and are alright with going dutch on a date. Women don’t necessarily want a rich millionaire, but a little something can be a good thing. Even the guy would feel his dignity is safe if he can contribute some. And a man who still cannot understand this – girl, dump the moron now!

‘Ex’ factor
‘You are good, but she was better!’ Are you still with a guy who says that? Bang your head on the nearest wall and tell him you might as well go back. He’s not yet over the ex-relationship, and somewhere he’s sulking about it. Good or bad, the experience could be anything, but the fact that he still talks about her doesn’t help in getting the current relation any better. And even if you don’t dump him, but make him realise, talk it out; and if it still doesn’t work, it’s unbelievable you are still putting up with it!

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‘Ex’ out the friendly factor
Men do have a tendency to still retain a certain amount of care for the woman they once loved. So, it doesn’t make any sense for them to remain friends once it’s over. What was there once can be reignited in some weak moments. So, dearest men, dump the ‘ex’ as ‘friend’ and concentrate on your current love. A bird in hand is always better than two in the bush.

Love at first sight
Well, it happens only in books or films. Most often, it’s just a liking or lust. But love, dearies, takes time to blossom. So, lady, if the gentleman has told you ‘I Love You’ a bit too soon, hold your horses and don’t jump into taking yet another big step.

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‘The world is hard on me’
No darling, you are just a selfish man who has taken certain wrong decisions perhaps, but doesn’t want to admit it. I know you just said ‘no’, but deep down you know it’s a ‘yes’! Unaccountable, selfish or plain immature, grow up or stop pulling the other person down with you by blaming the world or her for your problems, lest she decides to move the ‘problem’ away from your life.

Can’t take ‘no’ for an answer
Even if it’s just gaining control over the remote. Read the key words ‘gaining control’ and get the hint. If you are ready to be a doormat, and are happy with it, man your relation is going to last a historical era! But if you are a person who commands respect, there are better people out there who give you that. Let Hitler be, you don’t have to become his Nazi army.

Mr. Richie Rich
The poor little rich guy, if he shows off a lot of moolah, either he’s going to run out of it or, well, just keep believing that ‘love can be bought’! And if you’re the guy who’s lying about it, you’re hurting your chances of having a real relationship as the facade will eventually come back to bite you.

Momma’s boy
Better stay in momma’s lap! If your guy can’t move a nerve without ‘mom’s consent’, you better move yourself away from him. Why? Because you don’t know if she’s anything like Jane Fonda in Monster-in-law, baby you are not necessarily Jennifer Lopez!
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Dad’s the financier
If the guy is still living with his parents despite being all but 25 years of age, are you still going to to live with him? The first thing he should do is get a job! If he cannot do that, he’s be dependant on dad, or you! And if you cannot pay his bills, ‘you are a no-good girlfriend’ is all you’ll hear from him!


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This is how often women masturbate

This is how often women masturbate

Clicking the mouse. Auditioning the finger puppets. Paddling the pink canoe. Finger painting. There are a whole lot of silly euphemisms for masturbation, and research shows most women over the age of 18 have done it at least once. But how often do women regularly masturbate? FiveThirtyEight crunched the numbers and found out.

FiveThirtyEight’s Mona Chalabi analyzed Indiana University’s National Survey Of Sexual Health And Behavior (NSSHB) to create an infographic illustrating how often men and women masturbate according to age. The NSSHB collected data from 5,865 Americans between the ages of 14 and 94 between March and May 2009.

While masturbation is a normal, healthy and (definitely) enjoyable experience, it looks like we have yet to shake the taboo surrounding women and masturbation. Perhaps unsurprisingly, men masturbate far more frequently than women do.

masturbate is great

 

Infographic credited to Mona Chalabi and FiveThirtyEight.

As Chalabi points out, women are less likely to try masturbating, however, there is still a large gender gap when it comes to routine masturbation. Only 7.9 percent of women between the ages of 25 and 29 masturbate two to three times a week whereas 23.4 percent of men do.

 

This is one gender gap we can close all on our own. So, let’s get to it.