It’s said that, only 4 out of 10 women can achieve orgasm and that’s because most women believe it’s the man’s responsibility to make her achieve it, there’s nothing she can do to help, which is a fallacy.
Like the saying goes, “It takes two to tango”. It’s the responsibility of both partners to make it happen, not one.
This attitude among women have hindered their ability to achieve orgasm in many ways. Now the question is, what are some of these reasons behind their inability to achieve orgasm? Come with me as I take you through 10 reasons why women can’t achieve orgasm.
1. You Don’t Initiate Sex
It’s interesting how women are so reluctant to initiate sex without knowing how it affects them. Truth is when you initiate sex, you prepare your mind for the act hence building the hormones for the act.
Before you decide to initiate sex, the thought of it actually excites you, propelling towards the act. When you don’t do it, it’s like you’re always at the receiving end, it’s not when you’re in the mood that he approaches, he does it at his own time when he is ready. So we ask, what makes you reluctant at the time you are feeling for it? Women will pretend they don’t need sex even when they are highly pressed for it. They expect the man to always make the move all the time, this way, you’re rather harming yourself, because if he doesn’t make the move at your convenient time, the whole timing goes wrong and no matter how hard he thrusts, there’s no way he can make you climax, because in your mind and soul, you’re not there. This is because usually the time he initiates it, is not at your convenient time and so how do you expect to reach that climax? You will definitely be found wanting.
If you really want to work on this, the best way is to initiate sex when you know you’re in the mood for it, because that’s when it’s easy to get to the peak in time.
2. No Action During Sex
This is typical of many Ghanaian women. Ladies who just lie there without participating in the sex act always lose at the end. Like we said earlier, it takes two to tango and so if you lie there like a piece of wood all the time and expect him to do all the work, then note that, those who work get paid, those who don’t always lose out.
During every sex act, both of you need to participate in the action to get there on time. As a woman, you’re the only one who knows where “it sweets you” the most and so if you lie there idle, remember he will not be able to tell where you like him to hit. It’s important to participate. Sometimes the best way will be holding him tight and wriggling your waist so that it touches the nooks and cranny of your honey pot, because you know where all the sweet buds are located.
As I always say, every man in there is like a blind man in a dark valley, he will surely need a hand to walk through and that’s why it’s important to participate in the act. Note that men are very smart in this area and what you do will let them know how you want them to go about it without you even uttering a word. You can also rock him in all the positions during sex, be it the doggy style, woman on top, reverse cowgirl, missionary position, Lotus, Spoon etc.
Wriggling and rocking back, rushes blood to your groin helping you to achieve orgasm quicker.
3. You Don’t Communicate
Many women think, the only time to communicate is when they want to argue, you can communicate during sex too and it’s important to tell the man when he goes the wrong way and also very important to tell him when he’s hitting the right spot. Screaming Yes! Yes!! Yes!!! boosts men to perform more, especially when you know he’s hitting the right spot. But keeping quiet when he’s doing it right will only make him think he’s doing it wrong and will change to a different position which he thinks will be good for you, which in fact you know he could get it all wrong. Keeping mute during a sex act will only ruin it for both of you, especially you the woman, because with a man, no matter the situation, he will still climax.
If you really want to achieve that orgasm, then you must learn to order him around. Women must know that, it’s during sex that they have all the power over men and must learn to use it, because that’s the only time a man truly listens to you…so use it, instruct him on what to do and make sure he does it right and you will both reap the fruits together. Learn to TALK!!! and don’t be shy.
4. You Don’t Exercise
Sex in itself is an exercise and if you don’t have the stamina for it, you can’t keep up, same goes to men. Exercising is very important when it comes to sex and so ignoring it can be a disaster for both of you.
The whole sex act depends on three important things in the human body, Brain, Heart, Blood and all these three things need exercise. Exercising warms your blood and makes it travel faster, making it easy for you to reach that peak in time.
5. You Have Sex In A Rush (You don’t make Love, You have Sex)
There is a big difference between making love and having sex. If you really want to achieve an orgasm, then sex quickies are not for you.
If you really want to make it to the “sugar mountain” then you must learn to do it at the right pace and time. It must be rhythmic and there’s no need to rush. Rushing only makes your man to come quick, leaving you the woman half way through the journey. It must be started at a good slow pace and gradually increased rhythmically to the right speed. You shouldn’t have sex like you doing it with someone else’s husband and you’re about to get caught, do it like it’s your property, take your time to savor in all the sweetness that it brings. Rushing it only ruins it and will never help in the department of Orgasm.
6. You Don’t Put Your Mind To It
Ladies! Ladies!! Ladies!!! Please if you really want to achieve that orgasm, then you better stop thinking so much about unnecessary things during sex.
When you worry too much about him leaving you, whether he loves you or not etc. you lose focus and there’s no way you can achieve that orgasm no
matter what he does. The best way is to put your mind to it and like we always say in most of our articles, the brain is the strongest sex organ. CONCENTRATE!!! and you will get there.
7. Sex Is Dirty
If you have this mentality, there’s no way you can ever achieve an orgasm. Women who are brought up with the notion that sex is dirty always have a problem letting themselves go and the easiest way to see them is notice how they comment on articles like this, they see it to be nasty to even discuss it.
If you know you are that kind of woman, then you have a big problem. One of the easiest ways to have a good orgasm is to allow your body to be explored and all areas well managed before you will be able to tell what really turns you on. But if you view sex as dirty, you are likely to avoid a lot of things which could have even helped to get you to the top.
Example, such women view oral sex as a taboo and will never allow a man to go down there with their tongue and even reading this can make them spit. Some women will never allow you to finger them because they feel it’s dirty and also think you will smell it afterwards and since they believe they are dirty, (what you need to understand is that, the liquid you have dripping down on you that you hate and think is dirty, actually arouses men when they smell it, so chill! It does wonders) they won’t allow you to even dare finger them, how much more get the chance to smell it. Kissing is out of the question because that’s dirty too. If you avoid all this and only wish for penetrative sex, HOW ON EARTH DO YOU EXPECT TO ACHIEVE AN ORGASM!!! You will be surprised to know that this is very common in Ghana.
8. You’re Not Open-Minded
This could stem from the woman’s religious background where certain sexual acts are seen as a sin or dirty, hence closing them from inside. To them, sex out of the bedroom is a sin or bad and when you do it, you’re viewed as bad girl or an uncultured lady. And so they don’t get the chance to explore other places with the right ambiance for a great sex. Certain positions are a “No Go” area.
There are many such women out there who view fellatio, boobs sex (sex in between the breasts), cunnilingus, etc. as a sin to even practice them, restricting them from opening up and allowing their body to go with the tide. This can close up your ability to achieve an orgasm.
9. Past Trauma
Women go through a lot in their life time as they grow up and rape is one of such situations. Women who have gone through this trauma finds it very difficult to achieve orgasm, unless they find someone who can really clear their mind off the situation with love. It’s very difficult for them to achieve an orgasm, sometimes even sex becomes a problem because the act itself brings back their horrible past blocking them from opening up to achieve an orgasm.
Women with broken hearts too find it difficult to achieve an orgasm because as we stated earlier above, they begin imagining all the negative things their previous partner did to them, even during sex. They develop this fear of not having him forever or losing him anytime soon and so they don’t open up for their man to bring out the “beast” in them, bottling it inside.
The best way to overcome this situation is to discuss it with your husband or boyfriend to be aware of the situation or go for some kind of counseling or see a psychiatrist to help you through battling the problem. You must have a free mind if you really want to achieve an orgasm.
10. You Don’t Explore
As a woman, you must know your body inside and out, women who are shy or view their sex organ to be dirty will never know where “it sweets them” the most and if you don’t know, how do you teach your man to satisfy you?
As a woman it’s good to sit in front of the mirror after bathing and checking your vagina very well to ascertain your most sensitive parts, this will even in a way help you discover any disease in time. You can insert a finger to determine where your G-spot is located, how it feels like to touch your clitoris and the right way that arouses you. Doing this will help you coach your man as to where to go to get you to the “sugar mountain” quicker. There’s no way a blind man can lead a blind man, so the best way to help him, is to be an expert at your own body and the best way to do this is to EXPLORE!!