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Ladies: 10 Reasons Why You Can’t Orgasm

mia goth

It’s said that, only 4 out of 10 women can achieve orgasm and that’s because most women believe it’s the man’s responsibility to make her achieve it, there’s nothing she can do to help, which is a fallacy.

Like the saying goes, “It takes two to tango”. It’s the responsibility of both partners to make it happen, not one.

This attitude among women have hindered their ability to achieve orgasm in many ways. Now the question is, what are some of these reasons behind their inability to achieve orgasm? Come with me as I take you through 10 reasons why women can’t achieve orgasm.


1. You Don’t Initiate Sex

It’s interesting how women are so reluctant to initiate sex without knowing how it affects them. Truth is when you initiate sex, you prepare your mind for the act hence building the hormones for the act.

Before you decide to initiate sex, the thought of it actually excites you, propelling towards the act. When you don’t do it, it’s like you’re always at the receiving end, it’s not when you’re in the mood that he approaches, he does it at his own time when he is ready. So we ask, what makes you reluctant at the time you are feeling for it? Women will pretend they don’t need sex even when they are highly pressed for it. They expect the man to always make the move all the time, this way, you’re rather harming yourself, because if he doesn’t make the move at your convenient time, the whole timing goes wrong and no matter how hard he thrusts, there’s no way he can make you climax, because in your mind and soul, you’re not there. This is because usually the time he initiates it, is not at your convenient time and so how do you expect to reach that climax? You will definitely be found wanting.

If you really want to work on this, the best way is to initiate sex when you know you’re in the mood for it, because that’s when it’s easy to get to the peak in time.


2. No Action During Sex

This is typical of many Ghanaian women. Ladies who just lie there without participating in the sex act always lose at the end. Like we said earlier, it takes two to tango and so if you lie there like a piece of wood all the time and expect him to do all the work, then note that, those who work get paid, those who don’t always lose out.

During every sex act, both of you need to participate in the action to get there on time. As a woman, you’re the only one who knows where “it sweets you” the most and so if you lie there idle, remember he will not be able to tell where you like him to hit. It’s important to participate. Sometimes the best way will be holding him tight and wriggling your waist so that it touches the nooks and cranny of your honey pot, because you know where all the sweet buds are located.

As I always say, every man in there is like a blind man in a dark valley, he will surely need a hand to walk through and that’s why it’s important to participate in the act. Note that men are very smart in this area and what you do will let them know how you want them to go about it without you even uttering a word. You can also rock him in all the positions during sex, be it the doggy style, woman on top, reverse cowgirl, missionary position, Lotus, Spoon etc.

Wriggling and rocking back, rushes blood to your groin helping you to achieve orgasm quicker.


3. You Don’t Communicate

Many women think, the only time to communicate is when they want to argue, you can communicate during sex too and it’s important to tell the man when he goes the wrong way and also very important to tell him when he’s hitting the right spot. Screaming Yes! Yes!! Yes!!! boosts men to perform more, especially when you know he’s hitting the right spot. But keeping quiet when he’s doing it right will only make him think he’s doing it wrong and will change to a different position which he thinks will be good for you, which in fact you know he could get it all wrong.  Keeping mute during a sex act will only ruin it for both of you, especially you the woman, because with a man, no matter the situation, he will still climax.

If you really want to achieve that orgasm, then you must learn to order him around. Women must know that, it’s during sex that they have all the power over men and must learn to use it, because that’s the only time a man truly listens to you…so use it, instruct him on what to do and make sure he does it right and you will both reap the fruits together.  Learn to TALK!!! and don’t be shy.

4. You Don’t Exercise

Sex in itself is an exercise and if you don’t have the stamina for it, you can’t keep up, same goes to men. Exercising is very important when it comes to sex and so ignoring it can be a disaster for both of you.

The whole sex act depends on three important things in the human body, Brain, Heart, Blood and all these three things need exercise. Exercising warms your blood and makes it travel faster, making it easy for you to reach that peak in time.

5. You Have Sex In A Rush (You don’t make Love, You have Sex)

There is a big difference between making love and having sex. If you really want to achieve an orgasm, then sex quickies are not for you.

If you really want to make it to the “sugar mountain” then you must learn to do it at the right pace and time. It must be rhythmic and there’s no need to rush. Rushing only makes your man to come quick, leaving you the woman half way through the journey. It must be started at a good slow pace and gradually increased rhythmically to the right speed. You shouldn’t have sex like you doing it with someone else’s husband and you’re about to get caught, do it like it’s your property, take your time to savor in all the sweetness that it brings. Rushing it only ruins it and will never help in the department of Orgasm.

6. You Don’t Put Your Mind To It

Ladies! Ladies!! Ladies!!! Please if you really want to achieve that orgasm, then you better stop thinking so much about unnecessary things during sex.

When you worry too much about him leaving you, whether he loves you or not etc. you lose focus and there’s no way you can achieve that orgasm no

matter what he does. The best way is to put your mind to it and like we always say in most of our articles, the brain is the strongest sex organ. CONCENTRATE!!! and you will get there.

7. Sex Is Dirty

If you have this mentality, there’s no way you can ever achieve an orgasm. Women who are brought up with the notion that sex is dirty always have a problem letting themselves go and the easiest way to see them is notice how they comment on articles like this, they see it to be nasty to even discuss it.

If you know you are that kind of woman, then you have a big problem. One of the easiest ways to have a good orgasm is to allow your body to be explored and all areas well managed before you will be able to tell what really turns you on. But if you view sex as dirty, you are likely to avoid a lot of things which could have even helped to get you to the top.

Example, such women view oral sex as a taboo and will never allow a man to go down there with their tongue and even reading this can make them spit. Some women will never allow you to finger them because they feel it’s dirty and also think you will smell it afterwards and since they believe they are dirty, (what you need to understand is that, the liquid you have dripping down on you that you hate and think is dirty, actually arouses men when they smell it, so chill! It does wonders) they won’t allow you to even dare finger them, how much more get the chance to smell it. Kissing is out of the question because that’s dirty too. If you avoid all this and only wish for penetrative sex, HOW ON EARTH DO YOU EXPECT TO ACHIEVE AN ORGASM!!!  You will be surprised to know that this is very common in Ghana.

8. You’re Not Open-Minded

This could stem from the woman’s religious background where certain sexual acts are seen as a sin or dirty, hence closing them from inside. To them, sex out of the bedroom is a sin or bad and when you do it, you’re viewed as bad girl or an uncultured lady. And so they don’t get the chance to explore other places with the right ambiance for a great sex. Certain positions are a “No Go” area.

There are many such women out there who view fellatio, boobs sex (sex in between the breasts), cunnilingus, etc. as a sin to even practice them, restricting them from opening up and allowing their body to go with the tide. This can close up your ability to achieve an orgasm.


9. Past Trauma

Women go through a lot in their life time as they grow up and rape is one of such situations. Women who have gone through this trauma finds it very difficult to achieve orgasm, unless they find someone who can really clear their mind off the situation with love. It’s very difficult for them to achieve an orgasm, sometimes even sex becomes a problem because the act itself brings back their horrible past blocking them from opening up to achieve an orgasm.

Women with broken hearts too find it difficult to achieve an orgasm because as we stated earlier above, they begin imagining all the negative things their previous partner did to them, even during sex. They develop this fear of not having him forever or losing him anytime soon and so they don’t open up for their man to bring out the “beast” in them, bottling it inside.

The best way to overcome this situation is to discuss it with your husband or boyfriend to be aware of the situation or go for some kind of counseling or see a psychiatrist to help you through battling the problem. You must have a free mind if you really want to achieve an orgasm.

10. You Don’t Explore

As a woman, you must know your body inside and out, women who are shy or view their sex organ to be dirty will never know where “it sweets them” the most and if you don’t know, how do you teach your man to satisfy you?

As a woman it’s good to sit in front of the mirror after bathing and checking your vagina very well to ascertain your most sensitive parts, this will even in a way help you discover any disease in time. You can insert a finger to determine where your G-spot is located, how it feels like to touch your clitoris and the right way that arouses you. Doing this will help you coach your man as to where to go to get you to the “sugar mountain” quicker. There’s no way a blind man can lead a blind man, so the best way to help him, is to be an expert at your own body and the best way to do this is to EXPLORE!!


Marriage In Ghana


After initiation rites, a person is ready to marry. Marriage is a very important stage in the life of the Ghanaian. The main aims of getting married is to have children. This is why child-bearing is stressed throughout the initiation rites.

There are different ways of choosing partners. For example, in some communities, parents choose partners for their children. When a father feels that his son is ready for marriage, he finds a suitable wife for him.

In the past, most parents betrothed their daughters before thy were old enough to marry. Nowadays, parents who choose partners for their children seek the children’s consent first. In some cases too, the young people make their own choice and inform their parents. It is the customary practice for a man to seek the hands of a woman in marriage. In most communities it is a taboo for a woman to propose love and marriage to a man.

In our traditional set-up, marriage involves the man and the woman concerned as well as their families. Before the marriage, most families try to investigate each other’s family background. They do this to find out if there is anything that will prevent a successful marriage. They investigate to find out answers to questions such as these:

(a) Are there any communicable or hereditary diseases like tuberculosis (T.B.), leprosy, insanity, or

epilepsy in the family?

(b) Had there been any criminal record, e.g., murder or stealing?

(c) Is the family quarrelsome?

(d) Is the woman lazy?

(e) Can the man look after a wife?

It is only after both families are satisfied with their investigations that the marriage can be allowed.

In all communities in Ghana, there is the custom of giving gifts to the bride’s family, especially the mother. There is also a presentation of drinks and an amount of money, but the money involved differs from community to community. The gifts to the bride’s family by the bridegroom show his gratitude for allowing their daughter to be part of his (the bridegroom’s) family. The customary drink, the “ti-nsa” (head wine) of the Akan which is presented by the bridegroom seals the marriage. When there is a divorce, an arbitration decides whether a bride-wealth paid by the bridegroom should be returned to him or not.

Let us now look at how some communities perform their marriage rites.

Marriage among the Ewe:

Among the Ewe, when a man is ready to marry, a pot of palm wine is sent to the girl’s father. This is done by the man’s paternal and maternal aunts to inform the girl’s parents of their intentions. The first presentation of drink is known as “vofofo” (knocking ceremony). After the girl’s parents have been informed in this way, they ask the messengers to come after a week or two for the answer. The period allows them time to consider their request and to make enquiries about the man and his family. When the girl’s parents are satisfied with the man’s conduct and background, they allow them to perform the necessary marriage rites.

Among some Ewe communities, when the girl’s parents give their consent, the boy’s parents send a pot of palm wine to the family head to thank them. This is known as “akpedaha” (thanksgiving drink). In the past, after the “akpedaha,” the man helped his in-laws on their farms, mended their roofs, and cut firewood for them. This practice is also known as “sagolabla” (service to your in-laws).

Among the Anlo, when the girl’s parents agree to the marriage, the bridegroom pays a volanu(knocking fee). This consists of two bottles of local or imported gin. A date is then fixed for the marriage ceremony.

On the appointed day, they all assemble in the girl’s family head’s house. The man gives them a big pot of palm wine, two bottles of schnapps or local gin and a bundle of tobacco. In addition he provides a large trunk which contains items of clothing and other things for the wife. When the girl’s family inspects and accepts the items, “sronu tabianu,” the bride-wealth is paid to end the ceremony. The amount paid differs from community to community. After this, a date is fixed for the wife to join her husband.

Before the bride joins the husband, a short prayer is said to the ancestors asking for their blessings for the couple. After the prayer, she is taken away by the husband’s aunts accompanied by her own aunts.

On her arrival, she is warmly received by the bride-groom’s father. Here, the couple are advised again to live peacefully. After this, the family head pours libation asking for a successful marriage.


Marriage among some Communities in Northern and Upper Regions of Ghana:

Marriage ceremonies among most ethnic groups in the Northern and Upper Regions of Ghana seem to be the same. When a man wants a wife, he starts giving the girl gifts. The gifts are usually in the form of money, handkerchiefs, towels, etc. If she accepts the gifts, then they become lovers.

Occasionally, the man presents gifts to the girl’s family, especially the mother. The gifts usually differ from community to community. They can be yams, meat, cola, tobacco, drinks, and sometimes money. Sometimes, items like leather bags, calabashes, and combs are given. These gifts could be given out on behalf of the man by a relative. The presentation of the gifts is to make the girl’s family recognize the man as a would-be son-in-law. Among the Gonja, the man can provide the girl with yams from his farm and meat from his traps while they are still lovers.


When the man is ready to perform the marriage rites, he informs the girl’s parents and a day is fixed for the ceremony. On that day, the man’s father sends the bride price. In some communities, kola nuts and money would be sent to the girl’s parents. She is then called and asked three times whether she likes to marry the man. If she agrees, then, the kola nuts are distributed among those present. Each of them takes a bite to show their approval. The money is shared among members of the girl’s family. The sharing of the money indicates that they are all witnesses to the marriage ceremony.

Among some communities such as the Frafra, Mamprusi, Dagomba, and Kusasi, the bridegroom pays a bride price with cows. The number of cows is determined by the community. The man has to give that number before the girl becomes the “proper” wife.


A day is fixed for the bride to go to her husband’s house. In some communities like the Sisala, the bride is accompanied by a sister who stays with her for a few months. The Gonja make such fun of the taking away of the girl because on this day, a group of youth pretend to seize the girl. The girl should struggle and weep to show that she does not want to leave her people. When she is taken to the husband’s house, she is given to an elderly woman who takes care of her for seven days. She is, however, visited by her husband and his friends. During this period, she is shown the husband’s farm and all the things he owns. She is not given her own place such as a kitchen, until the husband’s parents are sure she can stay with them.

Marriage among the Akan:

A man who wishes to marry, first discusses the intentions with the girl concerned. He has to make sure the girl will agree to marry him before he informs his parents. Finding out through secret meetings if they will marry each other is known as “kasasie.” The man then tells his mother or an elderly person about his intentions. His mother or the elderly person will in turn inform his father. If the mother feels that the marriage will not be possible for some reason, she will discourage him. When the father agrees, an investigation will immediately start into the girl’s conduct and family background.

When the boy’s parents are satisfied the father, through a delegation, informs the girl’s parents about his son’s intention. This information is known as ‘abowmu bodze’ or ‘opon-akyi bo’ (knocking ceremony). The announcement is made with a pot of palm wine or a bottle of schnapps. Some amount of money is added to the drink. The amount paid differs from community to community. The man may add some extra money to whatever custom demands. This is usually to impress his in-laws that he can really look after their daughter. In some communities, this money is regarded as a “token gift” for the girl’s mother.

The girl’s parents ask them to go back and come later for an answer. This enables them to find out if their daughter agrees to the marriage. They also investigate the boy’s conduct and family background. When they are satisfied, word is sent to the man’s family to come forward. It is the custom for a father to pay for the marriage expenses of a son. But these days, most young men give the money to their fathers for the marriage rites.

The father sends a message to the girl’s parents to inform them of the date for the rites. Both parents inform their maternal relatives to send their representative to the ceremony. On the appointed date, the man’s father sends a delegation to perform the rites. The important part of the ceremony is the offering of drinks known as “tiri nsa” (head drinks). In the past, it used to be palm wine, but now it is schnapps. The “tiri nsa” traditionally seals the marriage. Some money is added to the drink. The amount of money given differs from community to community. There is also a customary fee charged to be given to the girl’s mother. Her brothers too are given some money known as “akontagye sekan.” Before the payment of the customary drinks and the fee, the girl is formally called before the gathering to give her final consent to the marriage.

After accepting everything, the girl’s family head pours libation asking for protection and blessings for the new couple. He also prays that the marriage should be blessed with children. The rest of the drink is shared among all the people present to signify that they are all witnesses to the marriage. Pieces of advice are then given to the couple. The man can then fix a day to take his wife home.

There is another important rite which can be performed on the same day or at any time in their married life. It is an amount of money which is known as ‘ti-aseda’ or ‘ti-ade’ paid to the girl’s family. This is what might be termed ‘bride wealth.’ Nowadays, ‘ti-aseda’ is usually to show the man’s appreciation to the girl’s family for giving their daughter away. In the past, the girl’s family used this amount to pay any debt in the family. They believed that using that money to pay such a family debt would give her the peace of mind to enjoy her married life. Where there was no such debt, it was used to buy some property, e.g., a land or a farm for her and her future children. If there was a divorce, the husband could claim the ‘ti-aseda’ or ‘ti-ade’ from the wife’s family.

A day is fixed for taking the bride away to her husband. The bridegroom sends a pot of palm wine or a bottle of schnapps to the bride’s father for permission to take away his wife. The head of family pours libation with it and blesses the couple again.

On reaching her husband’s home, the husband provides her with food items to prepare a special meal for relatives, friends, and himself. This special meal is known as ‘osenka’ or ‘aduane kese’ (wedding feast). It is a marriage feast which is followed by jubilation. Traditionally, the “osenka” was prepared in the bride’s home and sent to the bridegroom’s house where it was shared among relations and friends.


Changes in Traditional Marriages:

Nowadays, most of the customs connected with traditional marriages are disappearing. Formal education, Christianity, Islam, and other religions have influenced the marriage ceremony. For instance, most parents no longer wait for the husband to provide a trunk full of the wife’s clothing before they allow her to join her husband. Also in the Northern and Upper Regions where more than one cow is demanded, the number has now been reduced to enable more young men to marry.

Another change is that since most young people now work outside their hometowns and villages, the bride is not sent to the bridegroom’s house by her aunts or relatives. Instead, the man arranges for his wife to join him at his station. Some Christian and other religious groups as well as some educated people, after the customary rites, have weddings.

Nowadays, a Bible and a ring are added to the items presented to a Christian or educated woman at the “knocking” ceremony. The engagement ring is supposed to keep away other suitors. If for any reason the marriage does not take place, the engagement ring and the Bible are returned to him.

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“Customary Marriage” in Ashante Land

MARRIAGE—hundreds of thousands enter this relationship each year throughout the world. They usually do so according to the marriage custom that prevails where they live.

In Ghana the most common form of marriage is what is called customary marriage. This involves payment of a bride-price by the bridegroom’s family to the bride’s family. Customary marriage is practiced by people in much of Africa and in such places as Hong Kong, Papua New Guinea, and the Solomon Islands as well as among the Goajiro Indians in northeastern Colombia and northwestern Venezuela, to mention a few.

Payment of the bride-price was a custom traced to the begining of man’s existence. The understanding in ancient times and today is that the bride-price is a compensation to the girl’s parents for the loss of her services and for the time, energy, and resources expended on her education and upkeep before marriage.

Parental Responsibility

In the old days of Ghana, dating and courtship did not exist among young people. Parents contracted marriages for their grown children after painstakingly studying marriageable young men and women in the community. Some parents in Ghana still do this.

The boy’s parents consider such factors as the personality of the girl; her reputation and that of her family; hereditary disease that may run in the family; and in the case of Jehovah’s Witnesses, her spirituality. If satisfied, the parents formally approach the girl’s parents and make the marriage proposal.

The girl’s parents now investigate the background of the boy and his family. In addition to the factors mentioned above, they consider the boy’s ability to support a wife—is he working or unemployed? If the girl’s parents are satisfied, they so inform the boy’s parents, and the parents jointly work out details of the marriage, after both the boy and the girl have agreed to it.

Why do some parents still take it upon themselves to find mates for their grown children? One woman in India whose parents arranged her marriage stated: “How could a young person be qualified to make such a weighty decision? Far better to leave it to those whose age and experience qualify them to know what is the wisest choice.” Her comments also reflect the view of many Africans.

However, times are changing in Ghana. Dating and courtship are growing in popularity. At an appropriate point in courtship, the couple inform the parents of their intentions. After interaction between their parents and after the parents satisfy themselves that it is a good match, the families go ahead with the formal ceremony commonly known in various Ghanaian languages as knocking on the door, the marriage door.

The Door-Knocking Ceremony

Parents of the couple apprise family members of the date and the purpose of the meeting. The term “family members” refers to the extended African family that includes the couple’s uncles, aunts, cousins, grandparents. On the set day, representatives from both families gather for the ceremony. The bridegroom’s presence is optional. The following is a very brief version of what transpired at one such door-knocking ceremony.

Girl’s representative (GR): [Talking to the bridegroom’s representatives] We know your reason for coming, but custom demands that we still ask, What brings you here?

Boy’s representative (BR): Our son Kwasi was passing by your house and saw a pretty flower and wants your permission to pick it.

GR: [Feigning ignorance] There is no flower in this house. You can verify that for yourselves.

BR: Our son is not mistaken. We maintain that there is such a pretty flower in this house. The flower’s name is Afi.

GR: It is a human flower then. Well, Afi does live here.

BR: We want to knock on the door and request Afi’s hand in marriage to our son Kwasi.

The boy’s family now presents some items, such as various drinks and some money. Depending on the tribe, there are variations in the quantities and items presented. This ceremony is a rough equivalent of Western-style engagement, and in some cases an engagement ring is stipulated.

The bride’s representative now asks her before all onlookers whether the items brought should be accepted. By her affirmative answer, all present are eyewitnesses of her willingness to marry. A date convenient for both families is agreed upon for the celebration of the marriage. Refreshments conclude the ceremony.

The Marriage Ceremony

The number of people that gather at the girl’s house or at the house of a selected representative for the payment of the bride-price, which event constitutes the marriage, is usually larger than the number present for the door-knocking ceremony. This is because many friends are now present.

The atmosphere is joyful. Young unmarried men and women are anxious to see what has been brought for the bride. But the happy atmosphere tenses as the bride’s family complains that the bride-price items are incomplete. Some in the audience hold their breath when the bride’s family seems unyielding. The bridegroom’s spokesman skillfully argues his way into the sympathetic consideration of the bride’s family. The mood relaxes as the girl’s family relents. The atmosphere again changes. Now it is festive, and light refreshments are served.

To start the marriage ceremony, the bride’s spokesman calls the gathering to order and welcomes all. He asks the groom’s representatives about their mission. The groom’s spokesman states their reason for coming, reminding the gathering that the door has already been knocked on and that permission has been granted to enter.

Each family spokesman then introduces close members of the family to the gathering, including the one giving the girl’s hand in marriage as well as the one backing the boy in the marriage. The ceremony proceeds.

GR: [Talking to the bridegroom’s representatives] Please produce the marriage items we asked for.

The bride’s spokesman enumerates the bride-price items so all can verify that they are there. If the bridegroom’s representatives feel that the bride’s family has inflated the demands, they privately resolve the issue before the marriage day. However, the groom’s family comes to the ceremony prepared to bargain for the reduction of any extras if some of the bride’s family prove difficult. Wherever one lives, the basic bride-price—whether high or low—must be paid in full.

Some families stipulate such things as drinks, clothes, necklaces, earrings, and other ladies’ items. In northern Ghana, the bride-price may include salt, kola nuts, guinea fowl, sheep, and even cattle. There is invariably a cash component to the bride-price.

While negotiations proceed, the bride is not present but is close by, watching. The bridegroom’s presence is optional. Thus, a person living far away can authorize his parents to contract the marriage on his behalf. On the occasion described here, however, the bridegroom is present. It is now his family’s turn to make a demand.

BR: We have fulfilled all that is required of us, but we have not seen our daughter-in-law.

The marriage ceremony is not all serious business; it is also an occasion to have some fun. The girl’s family now responds to the demand of the boy’s family to see the bride.

GR: We wish the bride were here. Unfortunately, she has traveled abroad and we do not have passports or visas to make the trip to bring her back.

Everyone knows what that means. Instantly, the bridegroom’s family offers an amount of money—any amount the bridegroom can afford—and presto! the imaginary passports and visas are ready. And the bride has returned from her trip!

To add to the fun, some tribes arrange for some friends of the bride to impersonate her. Each impersonator is roundly rejected by the crowd until, amid great applause, the true bride is presented. She is then invited by her spokesman to take a look at the various items of her bride-price. She is asked whether what the bridegroom has brought should be accepted. There is a hush as everyone waits anxiously for the answer. Some girls are timid and others bold, but the answer is invariably yes, followed by thunderous applause.

If the bridegroom is present, the bride’s family demands to know him. The fun continues unabated if it has been arranged for one of his friends to impersonate him. With an air of importance, his friend stands up, but he is instantly shouted down.

The bride’s parents demand to see their son-in-law. The true bridegroom now stands up, radiating happy smiles. The bride’s family permits her to join her husband, who puts a ring on her finger if a ring is stipulated as part of the bride-price. The ring is an innovation from the West. She, in turn, puts a ring on his finger. Congratulations and joy fill the air. For convenience and economy, some now combine the door-knocking ceremony with the marriage on the same day.

Experienced members of both families and others now offer the newlyweds counsel on how they can make their marriage work until death separates them. To round off the day, refreshments are served.

In Ghana some couples have a Western-style marriage ceremony, here called a civil marriage, or marriage by the ordinance. This can be contracted with or without parental consent as long as the couple are of legal age. In customary marriage parental consent is a must.

In civil marriage the couple take marriage vows. But vows are nonexistent in customary marriages. The State requires that all customary marriages be registered, and everyone should comply. A registration certificate is then issued.

From olden times until the Gold Coast, now Ghana, became a British colony, customary marriage was the only form of marriage in the country. The British then introduced Western-style marriage for their citizens living here. Natives of this land were also permitted to contract this type of marriage, and for many years now, Western-style marriage and customary marriage have existed together. In Ghana both are legally recognized, hence should acceptable to all. It is up to the individuals to choose which form they desire.

In some African countries, customary marriages need to be registered before couples can be considered legally married. In Ghana, however, customary marriage as described above is legally valid without registration, the couples being considered legally married when the customary marriage is consummated. Later on, the customary marriage is registered for record purposes only.


Guinness Book of Records: Meet the woman with the world’s largest natural breasts

Imagine your breasts weigh about 56 pounds and require an unbelievable bra size of 102ZZZ.

Annie Hawkins-Turner, who is better known as Norma Stitz, has the largest natural breasts in the world and she’s not complaining.

Despite their already massive size, her breasts are believed to be still growing.

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Guinness Book of Records: Meet the woman with the world’s largest natural breasts

Imagine your breasts weigh about 56 pounds and require an unbelievable bra size of 102ZZZ.

Annie Hawkins-Turner, who is better known as Norma Stitz, has the largest natural breasts in the world and she’s not complaining.

Despite their already massive size, her breasts are believed to be still growing.

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The best sex position for men suffering back pain

Scientists have mapped out the best ways for men suffering back pain to have sex.

Contrary to popular belief ‘spooning’ is not always the best position for those who suffer back ache, researchers found.

Instead having sex ‘doggy-style’ may work better for many couples, they said.

Scientists at the University of Waterloo in Ontario, Canada, documented precisely how the spine moves during sex.

The researchers analysed information gathered by infrared and electromagnetic motion capture systems which documented how 10 couples moved when attempting five common positions.

They then created a set of guidelines that recommended different positions and ‘thrusting techniques’ based on what triggered a man’s back pain.

The findings, published in the journal Spine, included a recommendation for men who were flexion-intolerant – meaning those whose back pain was made worse by touching their toes or sitting for long periods of time – who should replace spooning with doggy-style sex.

They should also try a ‘hip-hinging motion rather than thrusting with their spines’, the authors said.

Lead author Natalie Sidorkewicz said: ‘Before now, spooning was often recommended by physicians as the one position that fit all.

‘But as we’ve discovered, that is not the case.

‘Sex positions that are suitable for one type of back pain aren’t appropriate for another kind of pain.

‘For the first time ever, we now have very solid science to guide clinicians on their recommendations for patients who suffer debilitating back pain, but still want to be intimate.

‘This has the potential to improve quality of life – and love-life – for many couples.’

Professor Stuart McGill, of the University’s faculty of applied health sciences, added: ‘Any family doctor will tell you that couples often ask them how to manage their back pain during and after sex.

‘Many couples will remain celibate because one night of love-making can lead to months of back agony.

‘Until now, doctors have never had any hard science to base their recommendations upon.’

The researchers plan to publish details about what happens to the female spine in coming months.

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Read personal account: Why do some women stay in an abusive relationships ?

For 10 years, I was in an abusive relationship. I was not physically abused, but I experienced relentless emotional abuse. Because of this, I understand all too well the painful effects of domestic violence and there is rarely a happy ending. Blessedly, I am an exception to the rule.

When I met my husband, I was in my mid-40s, and divorced with two young children. Life had taken a toll on my self-esteem, and I was thrilled to find a partner who, like me, was divorced with children. His love for me was the validation I so needed and I put him on a pedestal. In retrospect, I see that was fertile ground for abuse.

Almost immediately after moving in together, “it” began.

The unceasing jealousy. A casual conversation with a male friend would result in accusations of infidelity. I lived in fear of explosive anger, obscenities and name calling, usually directed at me, but sometimes at my children. The fuse was short and unpredictable: even the smallest irritants could cause emotional disaster. I remember the unreasonable rage directed at my 4 year-old because he ate all of the wings in a bucket of takeout chicken.

As much as I lived in fear of my husband’s anger, his betrayal of my trust was almost unbearable. When things were good, I shared with him the greatest hurts and disappointments of my life; his love and comfort were a balm. When things were bad, those same hurts and disappointments became his most venomous weapons.

Professionals and friends alike watched my emotional disintegration and urged me to leave the relationship. And twice, I did. Both times I returned, because seeing his misery and need was so painful that I couldn’t bear the guilt.

He promised change. Counseling. Greater honest communication. But the promises were empty. I came to agree with him that I was not worthy of love. The shame of this led me to isolate myself from friends and family. I saw in their eyes that they pitied me and that was unbearable.

To an outsider, I probably seemed fine. I was in my mid-50s, financially independent, happily employed. I was loved by many and loved many in return. No one really understood the totality of my unhappiness, including me.

On a beautiful spring day this year, I sat at my parents’ graves and asked for help. I knew my survival was at stake. Why could I not find the man who had comforted me at your deathbeds? What had I done to push away the man who laughed so impishly and could make me giggle uncontrollably?

Then I heard it: a small voice inside telling me that if I truly believed in this love, I had to do that which frightened me most: stand up to him. Make him take responsibility for his actions. I understood in that moment that if I wanted this union to survive, I would have to be the one to speak in defense of it.

When I returned home that day, the cycle began again: screaming, recrimination about being away from home all day. In the past, I would have stared in blank disbelief at the ‘outrageousness’ of the accusations. But this time, from some place deep inside me, the words roared out: “You will not speak to me like this again. I am deserving of respect.”

The stunned expression on my husband’s face was my answer. I saw in an instant that all the pain, all the betrayal, all the fear that he had inflicted on me was his attempt to control my behavior to conform to his wants, and he truly believed that those wants were best for both of us. I stood straight and tall against him for the first time. And in that instant, the playing field was leveled for us emotionally.

Recovery together has not been an easy road. My husband has needed to examine his past and his motives to understand his actions. He recognized that, not unlike many abusers, much of his behavior was learned, and he has committed himself to breaking the cycle.

It has not been easy for him and I am proud of all he has accomplished. Rarely is he angry or frustrated now, and he is no longer ashamed to show real emotion. The growth he has experienced has allowed me to pursue my dream of writing, my biggest passion.

He has become my biggest cheerleader, even knowing that his lessons are being exposed. We are both committed to helping others understand that domestic abuse can be overcome.

We continue to take baby steps together and fall back occasionally, but we are committed to making whatever years remain to us happy ones. Satisfying ones. Caring, unselfish ones. I could not ask for more.

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Good co-workers can make your job an enjoyable experience, but irritating ones can make the workplace unbearable.

Heather Huhman, a career and workplace expert for the online career site Glassdoor, said nearly all employees are forced to deal with bad co-workers, who range from arrogant and lazy to overly talkative and insatiable.

“Even if you consider yourself an easygoing person to work with, you’ve probably encountered that one colleague who drives you up your cubicle walls,” Huhman wrote in a recent blog.

To help employees, Huhman offered six ways to handle the most annoying co-workers:

Maintain a positive attitude: The best thing to do in this situation is to let the annoying things a co-worker does roll off your back. Dwelling on the negative can distract you from being productive. At the end of the day, it’s up to you to stay focused on what you need to accomplish and to have a positive attitude at work.

Find a common interest: Employees who have a co-worker they continually butt heads with should try to find some common ground with that person. Try to find at least one thing you have in common, even if it’s the dislike of the coffee in the break room. This will make working together more tolerable.

Try to ignore their flaws: Co-workers who are slackers or superarrogant should just be ignored. If the boss has yet to catch on to the problem or simply lets it slide, it’s not your problem to worry about. Even if it drives you nuts that your co-worker is never prepared or brags all of the time about nothing, don’t feed into their flaw. This will only cause you to become more annoyed and frustrated with the situation.

Shower them with kindness: When dealing with a workplace bully, negative person or gossiper, it’s important to remain calm and continue being kind to the person. Stay out of arguments or debates that would cause a negative impact on your work. Just continue smiling and going about your work as usual.


Politely reject their attention: If you have co-workers who are constantly pestering you or asking to go to lunch every day, you should politely reject their invitations. Whenever an annoying co-worker begins distracting you from your work, politely tell him or her to respect your space and to only speak to you if the question is work-related.

Be assertive: If the problem with an annoying co-worker persists, you need to take charge. After doing everything possible to find a solution, you should stand up for yourself. Tell co-workers they are distracting and they’ve been negatively impacting your productivity. Though you want to be polite, you also need to be assertive. If the annoying co-worker doesn’t get the point, then the next step is to approach your manager for an intervention.

“Don’t let your annoying co-workers bring you down at work,” Huhman wrote. “If you have to cope with someone who drives you nuts, remember, it’s all about how you react the situation.”

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How to stop your phone from taking over your life


As I ate dinner one recent Sunday, I scrolled through my social media feeds on my phone. I read about how someone was going to the market to buy groceries, how someone had just moved, how someone had just missed their plane, and how another person’s daughter had just played a piano piece.


On and on it went. I devoured this information while I was shoveling food into my mouth and down into my gut.

Suddenly, something amazing happened; I paused, took a breath and looked up from my iPhone. I was amazed at what I saw. There before me was a stunning sight — a view so breathtaking and beautiful I was mesmerized. I live on a hill with a magnificent view over the city. And at that very moment, the sun was setting on my rooftop garden and the sky was orange and pink. How could I have been ignoring this?


There was so much beauty around me, but I had temporarily caught the Distraction Bug and wasn’t taking it all in. After pausing and regrouping, I became present again. The food tasted so much better, I felt calmer and more engaged in the now. Bliss filled me. I was aligned again.

Catching the Distraction Bug is easy. It’s a global contagion that’s spreading fast. Have you caught it? Here are five tips on how to shake it off. Enjoy!

1. Come to your senses.

Regularly check in with your senses. Your senses operate in present time. What you hear, see, taste, touch and smell is all in the NOW! So throughout the day go through your senses and check in with the information they are offering you.

2. Go on conscious nature walks.

It doesn’t matter where you live; you should be able to find somewhere you can take a slow, conscious walk in nature, even if it’s a local park. Stop, look at a leaf, smell a flower, watch an ant, feel the breeze or look at the clouds.

3. Put away all technology during meal time.

If it’s there at the table, the sweet lure of information will suck you in easily.

4. Adopt a one-screen policy at other times.

In our house we have a one-screen policy. Ie. No iPods, iPhones or laptops while watching TV, or any other double or triple combinations of screening!

5. Begin a meditation practice.

Above all, meditate! Meditation helps you be more present throughout the day. It also trains you to observe your mind rather than BE your mind. I recommend two meditations per day for 20 minutes each.

Have you tried any of these tips already? Tell me how it went for you in the comment box below.

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10 Reasons Ghanaian Men Love Big Buttocks And Breasts


Every race and ethnic group and what they like about women but the passion Ghanaian men have for big butts and breasts are extremely outrageous.

Two Ghanaian men could be talking about some serious business and if a woman with big butts or breasts passes, the whole conversation will come to a standstill but this is never the same with slim women. Many men even die because of big butts and will do anything to have them.

If you want evidence of this, you can go through our article on the list of women with big boobs and butts and go to the comments section, you will see how Ghanaian men are going crazy over these women. It seems to be a culture in itself.

This attitude came to our attention and so we decide to find out the reasons why it is so, and the responses we got were amazing. We made a compilation of the reasons why Ghanaian men are so crazy over big butts and boobs and here are 10 of them.

wow1. Enticing

According to some men we interviewed, big butts and boobs are enticing and excites them whenever they see it. One guy actually said, he can cum by just seeing a naked big butt. That tells you how serious the situation is.

Many Ghanaian men see it as a sexually exciting tool and can’t do away with it, they virtually worship it and can go ahead to describe the types in it.

2. It’s Sexy

One of the reasons why some men actually love big butts and boobs is because it’s sexy. I don’t know if the media or magazines contributed to this but the fact is men love it because it’s sexy.

Most men in Ghana believe a woman with big butt will easily raise your testosterone high when she’s stark naked in your bedroom and that alone will allow you to perform better. One man said, doing doggy style becomes more exciting because you get to have a nice view and when you bang her, the movement the butt makes, just like waves makes his heart throb harder.

3. Fertility

This might come as a surprise but you will be shocked to know that, one of the reasons why many men especially Ghanaian men love big butts is because they believe women with big butts or wider hips are more fertile than their slim counterparts.

Many men believe that the wider the hips the more fertile the woman is and can bear more children hence the reason they love it. Unbelievable.

4. Attractive

Some men love big butts and boobs because it makes them attractive. Is like viewing a car, the size means a lot to men, the bigger the hips the more attractive the woman is. The way you dress is also a matter of concern as men feel voluptuous women look more attractive in dresses than their counterparts.

Men are generally more attracted to a woman that can fill out a dress and make it look good. If you are too thin then it isn’t going to fit right.


5. Age.

According to some men, women with big butts and boobs appear matured and older than their counterparts who are small and slim in stature. When you come home with them, neighbours or even your parents might think she’s not of age. One man described how she brought home a teenage girl who was voluptuous in stature and everybody in his community called her “Aunty” when she’s actually just 17 years old but he claims it wasn’t the same with an ex who was actually 25years of age and very slim in stature, according to him many of his friends actually thought she was a small girl, when in in fact she was even older than his current girlfriend. To some men this commands respect.


6. Health

According to some men, when you come home with a voluptuous woman, your family and friends believes she’s healthy. In Ghana, many people believe the heavy women are the healthy ones and the slim ones appear sickly.

7. Respect

Ghanaian men also believe that the heavier she is, the more she commands respect. She’s seen as a grown woman and her actual age is not even requested no matter where you send her, even if she’s less than 18years old she can still enter a night club with you and can go places with you without anybody querying you about her age.

8. Soft And Cushioned

Some Ghanaian men actually like big butts and boobs due to their texture. According to them it’s soft and feels like cushion when you lie on top…nawaaa oh!!!

It feels better to them when they have sex because they have more to push up against.

9. Feminine

Some men believe big butts and boobs make them appear more feminine than their slim counterparts who seems to have flat chest and flat butts, it doesn’t differentiate them from men.

According to some men, women with big butts and boobs appear more woman-like than their opposite counterparts…simply put they are the opposite of masculine. Women without big butts and boobs appear more masculine to their taste and they wouldn’t want to associate with something similar to them.

10. Cleavage

According to some Ghanaian men, the beauty of the cleavage is what gets to them, especially with hips and boobs. The shape is something that makes men tickle inside. It also makes them look beautiful in every clothe they wear.