Just for laughs.
- The Fanti kenkey seller whose fist-sized kenkey is made to look extraordinarily big because it is wrapped with leaves large enough to be my bed sheet!
2. Ghallywood and Kumawood movie producers (or is it directors?) who keep on telling us the same story over and over again… only with different titles, actors and actresses!
3. Social media users, especially ladies, who upload overly edited pictures as their profile pictures when they know they look nothing near it!
4. Trotro conductors (mates, to wit) who keep on telling us “last two” when indeed there are only two people seated in the 33-seater bus!
5. Our parent-in-law who never tell us the market value of their daughters only for us to marry them and they slam us with the condition ‘goods bought/sold are not returnable’!
6. Our self-styled girlfriends who have stolen others’ identity with the help of Brazilian hair, Chinese make-up and what have you, such that even today we can’t make them out without these ‘identity-stealing accessories’!
7. The audience at weddings and funerals who take as much food and wine as one can’t imagine into their stomachs and homes yet… drop a wrinkled GH1 note into the offertory basket!
8. Our wives who know our children are not ours and our houseboys who know they do more than just cleaning!
9. Ladies who courtesy skin toning creams re-package themselves such that we date them again and again without even knowing we had dated them earlier!
10. The policeman who insists on getting us change even if we have the largest Ghana cedi denomination as ‘something for the boys’ when he is old enough to be our step father!
11. The lecturer who knows that he is what he is courtesy ‘copy and paste’ yet stands in the way of students who try to do same!
12. Our educational system which knew that we would eventually be rendered jobless after all the many years of draining our pockets of our wealth, yet watched on as we were battered with abstract theories we can only apply in space!
13. Our employers who emotionally burden us with big titles/positions in our workplaces yet slap us with a scanty, inversely proportional salary!
14. Tenants who ‘intentionally’ get cholera/diarrhea to exhaust every toilet bill they pay monthly to their landlords!
15. Remedial schools who pray for failure of WASSCE candidates so business can boom for them!
16. Restaurants which insert ‘leaves’ into half a loaf of bread (which costs less than a Ghana cedis) and deceptively call it another name, sandwich perhaps, selling it to us over ten times its original cost!
17. Spiritualists who claim to have solutions to every financial headache yet watch on as the nation drowns in a sea of debt!
18. Herbalists who won’t stop fuelling rape by selling drugs that supposedly make ‘feeble men’ supermen overnight, thus, driving them to try their potency on anything in earrings!
19. Prophets who are the brain behind the brains who would travel even through the deserts to get to the white man’s land because such prophets won’t stop prophesying to such that they can see God giving them visas!
20. Ladies who have lost hope in young men of today because they think we can’t keep our promise… like ECG!
Over to you AMA (Accra Metropolitan Assembly). Effect the arrests since that’s what you have been doing lately, aside all your troubles.
BY: Kobina Amoa Ansah, Chief Scribe, Scribe Communications, Accra. (www.scribecommltd.com)